Teaching is really more of a
balancing act than most people know or understand. And as the teacher, even as you perform in
front of your class countless times and hours per day, you must be yourself, as
it is just too difficult to try to be someone else. I have always had pity for the teachers who
must wear a mask of competence, never lowering the mask to show the real person
beneath the mask. Although you must never
cross the line to become “friends” with your students, I have found that
self-disclosure is an important part of the teaching process. Just as you like to have a trusting
relationship with the mechanic who fixes your car or the stylist who cuts your
hair, personal relationships and trust are also important in the classroom. Students enjoy being in a classroom in which
they feel they know a little about you as a person. I am not advocating sharing your total life
with your classes, but I believe it is a good idea
to give students an appropriate peek at your personal life, and to always be
yourself. Students love seeing pictures
of your children, your husband, and your pets; family pictures on your desk
will generate conversations that would never have happened without the
pictures. Students will see you as more
of a “person” and less as just the “teacher,” and you will also notice a
difference in behavior. When students
feel that they have a personal relationship with you, discipline problems
diminish, as your conversations with them show students that you value them
enough to share some personal snippets of your life with them. All
the better if you live in the community in which you teach, as students will
enjoy seeing you in restaurants, the mall, the library, or the grocery store
with your families, because it helps them to see who you really are outside of
the classroom setting. Meeting the
parents under non-school circumstances is also an underestimated pleasantry. As I reflect upon the chance encounters with
students that I had through the years, I remember that I always made sure to
say something positive to the parents about their child. (No matter how old we are, everyone likes to
hear praise from the teacher!) A casual
conversation at the mall is a nice way to be introduced to the parents, who
will see you as a real person. Later on
in the school year, should you need to speak to parents about a school issue,
you will already have met the parent and know a bit about the family, and both will
be to your benefit.
Part of this self-disclosure/being
yourself is this: students have a strong need to feel that their teacher “likes”
them. When you have a pre-class conversation
about going to a movie or seeing a concert or sporting event, that conversation
helps the students to connect with you personally. Be sure to give these conversations your full
attention. Your keen listening will show
that you value students’ opinions and care about their ideas, thus making them
feel that they are “liked” by the teacher.
Several times in my career, I
used the idea of being “liked” to my advantage.
Through the years, I had many students who were not completing their
work and handing it in. I would see them
individually, and ask about the work. When
they would not have a good reason for not doing the work, I would look them
straight in the eyes and ask “Don’t you like me anymore? I am doing all I can to help you to learn,
and then you are not doing your part. I
have the feeling that you don’t like me anymore. That hurts my feelings.” The student would inevitably get upset and
say something like “Yes, Mrs. Rittman, I still like you. I didn’t know you cared so much about
this. I will do the work. May I have another day or two to finish it
and hand it in?” Of course, I always said
yes. The student/teacher relationship is
a precarious one, but handling students with kindness and respect, being
yourself, and sharing who you are will help you in every aspect of your
classroom.
Rittman Publishing, LLC
Rittman Publishing, LLC
For updates on Dede’s soon to
be published book RITTMAN RULES! A Practical Guide for Student Teaching,
please visit https://www.facebook.com/rittmanrules
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