This week, I encountered some former students from the 1980's, and of course, we talked about our school days together. I know I have said this before, but I really LOVED school! Although I worked very hard at preparing and improving lessons, grading papers, and working with students in groups and one on one, it was my passion, and I enjoyed the work so much that it was not like work at all. When I see my former students, my heart bursts with joy to know that I was as important to them as they were (and are) to me. And I realize more and more just how important my behavior in the classroom every day impacted all my students through the years.
This piece is for the new teachers who read this blog every week and for the veterans who need to be reminded of this lesson.
YOU, as a teacher, make a difference every day. You do not even realize it, but a kind word, a compliment, or an encouragement from you, THE TEACHER, can completely change a student's mood, day, attitude, grade, or decision-making process, as well as the way that they react to what happens to them each day, because you are setting an example of how adult behavior should be. Like it or not, you are the role model, every minute of every day. You, and you alone, cannot control what happens to you, but you can control how you will react to what curve balls are thrown your way. And students are watching. Elementary eyes, middle school eyes, or high school eyes are on you: your responsibility is huge. Students are also watching the way that you interact and react with other students. And I promise you this: they will remember.
Forty years after teaching my first class all those years ago at Penn Hills (1974), I saw a former student from my first year of teaching. And guess what? He remembered everything- not what classics he read- but, rather, the ambiance of the classroom. English was his "favorite" class. Class was fun, and he said that "I didn't get angry, like the other teachers, when something bad happened. You liked us." Although I was just 21 and my students were 16 and 17, I was insightful enough to know that they were paying attention to my actions, and that I had the ability to directly impact their lives every day. Growing up, I had so many great role models as teachers, so I learned the lesson of modeling expected behavior long before I became a teacher.
Sometimes in our society, the "cool" thing seems to be about complaining rather than appreciating, and criticizing rather than praising. It is up to you, the classroom teacher, to make your space and time with your students a positive part of the day, not a class they dread attending. You need to step up to be the positive role model for your students. You may not know it for years, but remember that your positive impact is far reaching, and will stay with your students throughout their lifetimes.
Teaching human beings is such an overwhelming responsibility, and it is important to try to be the best role model you can be every day. Someone is watching. . .actually, everyone is watching. Know that your influence goes far beyond your subject matter and classroom, and you are helping young people to shape their behaviors and reactions. It is an awesome task, but one I know you can handle. Have a positive day- being the best you can be. Who knows? Maybe in 40 years, you, too, will see a former student who will remember your class, but who will mostly remember YOU.
As always, I welcome your comments or suggestions.
My new book, STUDENT TEACHING; THE INSIDE SCOOP FROM A MASTER TEACHER, is available at www.dederittman.com You can also see my beautiful new press release at my website.
Rittman Publishing, LLC
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Sunday, October 19, 2014
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ― Leo Buscaglia
In thinking about this week's blog, I have spent several hours making notes and reading articles online about EMPATHY. I believe that although some children are instinctively empathetic, empathy should be taught in schools, and I do not mean just elementary schools. Being able to show empathy and to extend oneself to others and feel with them is not only a gift, but also a key to successful relationships, both personally and in business. If you have not read Howard Gardner's 1983 book Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, it is a terrific book which examines seven criteria which can make a behavior an intelligence, which is more than just measuring an IQ . Gardner specifically mentions Empathy under the Interpersonal relationship category, and he says that those with a high interpersonal intelligence are often successful as teachers, social workers, salesman, and counselors, just to name a few.
When I was teaching at North Allegheny for 35 years, our student body was involved in many worthy causes. Although our district was quite affluent overall, some municipalities within the district were impoverished. One of the favorite projects we did every year was called Santa's Stocking. Each homeroom was given the name of 1 or 2 children- all ages, from babies to 15 years old- and homeroom representatives collected money and/or gifts. To be on this gift list, families had to meet specific criteria as set forth by the North Hills Food Bank, and I remember that parents had to be out of work for at least two years. Students were told at the beginning of this project that whatever gift(s) were bought by the classes, that would be all these children received from "Santa" that year, as the parents had no extra money for frivolities like Christmas presents.
Overheard chatter in the classes sounded like this: "How could you NOT have Christmas presents? That is so sad" or "I would cry if my mom and dad could not buy me new skis (or a car or a snowboard)." Perhaps the greatest moment came when a favorite Social Studies teacher spoke to the entire school. He told the student body that he did not remember what he received for Christmas last year, or a few years ago, but that there was one toy that he would always remember. He was the son of a single mother, and there was no money for Christmas gifts at their house, because they did not even have enough money for food. His name was given to a charity group, not unlike our Santa's Stocking, and he received a gift, the most important gift he had ever or would ever receive. Just knowing someone cared enough to feel his pain - that he would have nothing for Christmas without their empathy and generosity, filled his heart with joy. I think it takes a big man with big courage to share a personal story like this one, but this man is a teacher, and he knows he has a lesson worth teaching. He still talks to all of the students every year, and the classroom discussions and the new feelings that the students shared because of his disclosure made, and continue to make, our school better.
If you are a teacher, perhaps you can ask your principal to partner with a group like the local food bank, for a canned food drive, Christmas gifts, or even a mitten tree. (I found out after all of the years of working with the food bank that gloves are the number one most requested item.) You could introduce the idea by having a student discussion or brainstorm some words to describe the emotions they think they would feel if they could not have Thanksgiving dinner, a winter coat and hat and gloves, or any holiday gifts. Sometimes, just imagining such a scenario is impetus enough to help others.
There are so many great causes in our communities, and teaching our young people to show empathy for others is so important. I always loved the day we wrapped the gifts for our "children" and then the entire class walked them down to the auditorium, which was filled with rows and rows of shiny new bicycles, giant stuffed animals, new winter coats and boots, and a most wanted toy for each child. On the walk back to our now-empty classroom, students said things like "I hope she will like our presents" or "I wish I could see him when he sees the bike!"As the teacher, I always wrote a letter to the parents and asked them to send us a note about the gifts. We usually received a thank you note, and sometimes a picture, and for many students, the warmth of that good feeling of helping someone and feeling their pain and joy was reignited. I believe that although sometimes our classes gave simple gifts, there was nothing simple about the learning to feel empathy that happened.
We are coming up to a special time of year, which for some, will not be festive.
Maybe you or your classes could make some magic happen for someone who is not expecting any, and they, too, can learn the lesson of empathy and the good feelings associated with giving.
As always, I welcome your comments or suggestions. Best, Dede
Rittman Publishing, LLC
My press release just came out for STUDENT TEACHING: THE INSIDE SCOOP FROM A MASTER TEACHER. Jason Price at Word Association Publishers designed it, and it is beautiful! You can see it at www.dederittman.com and click on Media and the download press kit.
ALSO- I made a new Facebook page for my book! Please visit my page and like it at
https://www.facebook.com/teachingscoop
When I was teaching at North Allegheny for 35 years, our student body was involved in many worthy causes. Although our district was quite affluent overall, some municipalities within the district were impoverished. One of the favorite projects we did every year was called Santa's Stocking. Each homeroom was given the name of 1 or 2 children- all ages, from babies to 15 years old- and homeroom representatives collected money and/or gifts. To be on this gift list, families had to meet specific criteria as set forth by the North Hills Food Bank, and I remember that parents had to be out of work for at least two years. Students were told at the beginning of this project that whatever gift(s) were bought by the classes, that would be all these children received from "Santa" that year, as the parents had no extra money for frivolities like Christmas presents.
Overheard chatter in the classes sounded like this: "How could you NOT have Christmas presents? That is so sad" or "I would cry if my mom and dad could not buy me new skis (or a car or a snowboard)." Perhaps the greatest moment came when a favorite Social Studies teacher spoke to the entire school. He told the student body that he did not remember what he received for Christmas last year, or a few years ago, but that there was one toy that he would always remember. He was the son of a single mother, and there was no money for Christmas gifts at their house, because they did not even have enough money for food. His name was given to a charity group, not unlike our Santa's Stocking, and he received a gift, the most important gift he had ever or would ever receive. Just knowing someone cared enough to feel his pain - that he would have nothing for Christmas without their empathy and generosity, filled his heart with joy. I think it takes a big man with big courage to share a personal story like this one, but this man is a teacher, and he knows he has a lesson worth teaching. He still talks to all of the students every year, and the classroom discussions and the new feelings that the students shared because of his disclosure made, and continue to make, our school better.
If you are a teacher, perhaps you can ask your principal to partner with a group like the local food bank, for a canned food drive, Christmas gifts, or even a mitten tree. (I found out after all of the years of working with the food bank that gloves are the number one most requested item.) You could introduce the idea by having a student discussion or brainstorm some words to describe the emotions they think they would feel if they could not have Thanksgiving dinner, a winter coat and hat and gloves, or any holiday gifts. Sometimes, just imagining such a scenario is impetus enough to help others.
There are so many great causes in our communities, and teaching our young people to show empathy for others is so important. I always loved the day we wrapped the gifts for our "children" and then the entire class walked them down to the auditorium, which was filled with rows and rows of shiny new bicycles, giant stuffed animals, new winter coats and boots, and a most wanted toy for each child. On the walk back to our now-empty classroom, students said things like "I hope she will like our presents" or "I wish I could see him when he sees the bike!"As the teacher, I always wrote a letter to the parents and asked them to send us a note about the gifts. We usually received a thank you note, and sometimes a picture, and for many students, the warmth of that good feeling of helping someone and feeling their pain and joy was reignited. I believe that although sometimes our classes gave simple gifts, there was nothing simple about the learning to feel empathy that happened.
We are coming up to a special time of year, which for some, will not be festive.
Maybe you or your classes could make some magic happen for someone who is not expecting any, and they, too, can learn the lesson of empathy and the good feelings associated with giving.
As always, I welcome your comments or suggestions. Best, Dede
Rittman Publishing, LLC
My press release just came out for STUDENT TEACHING: THE INSIDE SCOOP FROM A MASTER TEACHER. Jason Price at Word Association Publishers designed it, and it is beautiful! You can see it at www.dederittman.com and click on Media and the download press kit.
ALSO- I made a new Facebook page for my book! Please visit my page and like it at
https://www.facebook.com/teachingscoop
Monday, October 13, 2014
"You should never retire FROM something; you should always retire TO something." Dr. Paula Calabrese
Years before I ever knew I would
have to retire from teaching in June of 2011 to take care of my darling
husband, Scott, who was dying from stage four colon cancer, I had a luncheon
meeting with my good friend Dr. Paula Calabrese, who said to me the words I
used to title this piece, "You should never retire FROM something;
you should always retire TO something." Paula is so bright and so capable,
so I always listen when she speaks. She has so much to teach, and I am a very
willing pupil, so I thought about my next focus. When I retired from
teaching, it was to take care of Scott and his parents. For a year, I was
never without a focus. Then Scott died May 8, 2012; Dad Rittman died July
18, 2012; and Mom Rittman died September 26, 2012. However, I still was
not without a focus! I had all of the house fixing and clean up to
do before it was put on the market; there was much time spent looking at
condos; and for the first time in a long time, I was the only one I had to take
care of- definitely not the norm for me!
I always
wanted to be a writer. In fact, here is a secret I will share with you: I
think every English teacher wants to be a writer! All those credits in
prose and poetry- appreciating the singular beauty of similes and metaphors,
modifiers and qualifiers, precise word choices and action verbs- is just too
much to bear, and we see ourselves enveloped in these beautiful words and
images, and we want to be a part of it, just as it is a part of us. But there
is no way an English teacher working full time can ever have the luxury of
time needed to compose and reflect and edit.
When
Scott was dying from colon cancer for those 30 months, I wrote a weekly blog on
a free site called The Caring Bridge. This free site is for those who are
seriously ill, and the caregiver or a family member or close friend can post
updates on the patient's progress. I remember discussing this site with
Scott. He was not sure that he wanted any part of it, but he agreed it
would be easier for me to write a weekly update than to answer 50 plus emails
and phone calls per week.
And so my
journey as a writer began, and at the time, I did not even know it. I did know that I liked the feeling and the process of writing for an
audience.
The first
entries of The Caring Bridge were tentative. I did not want to disclose
too much information, as Scott was so private, but I did want to thank all who
cared enough to log in and check on him. Gradually, Scott and I worked out a
pattern of behaviors which was almost like a dance: we focused on discussing
what was important to share, giving a glimpse into our daily
life together (which we still tried to enjoy as much as
possible despite his diagnosis), and saying thank you to all who visited our
site.
The
writing was cathartic for me. I tried to write when Scott was not in the
same room, as I always cried while typing, as I attempted to compose and
present everything in a positive manner. I read each entry to Scott
before posting it to the Internet, because it was his site as much as
mine. We both enjoyed the positive and uplifting comments posted by friends,
and our site became an extension of our real life friends, in an Internet
friendship venue. In 30 months, we had over 15,000 visits, a
true testament to the loyalty and faithfulness of our friends.
Besides
missing Scott terribly, I really missed writing on The Caring Bridge after
Scott died.
I
revisited a book I started years before, liked what I read, and decided to
finish writing the book.
And that
is how STUDENT TEACHING: THE INSIDE SCOOP FROM A MASTER TEACHER came to be.
And the
timing was so right. This past week, I also retired from 33 years of
coaching golf at North Allegheny. I retired FROM coaching TO full time writing, just like Paula
advised me to do all those years ago. And now it feels right. I
enjoy writing this blog every week. I am starting a new book. And right now,
I am on the wings of a flurry of publicity for my new book, which
is available on amazon, Kindle, IBooks, Nook, and at www.dederittman.com
I was
even lucky enough to get some good press and free publicity from Kevin Gorman
at the Tribune Review. If you did not see his article and blog about my
career as a coach, teacher, and writer, here is the link. (It is quite
flattering). http://blog.triblive.com/ipreps/2014/10/07/life-lessons-from-the-bunny-teacher/
I share
all of this with you because I have found that it is important to
have something to look forward to each day and to continue to
contribute, even after retirement. Each person is blessed with many
talents, and I am happy to share my talents and ideas with others. I suppose
that the cliché is true: Once a teacher, always a
teacher.
Thank
you, Paula, my good friend, for your words of wisdom. Thank you, my
friends and readers, for allowing me to share my feelings and ideas with you.
I am
looking to advertise my book. I bought a book called 1001 WAYS TO MARKET YOUR
BOOK, and I have already begun to implement some of those strategies.
One line in the book struck me: MORE BOOKS ARE SOLD BY WORD OF MOUTH THAN BY ANY OTHER
VENUE. So, I am asking for your help. If you can help me to
spread the word and need more information, please visit www.dederittman.com . You can read an entire chapter on my website. I will share
this with you- a bus driver who took the NA team to a golf match read the book while we
were playing in the tournament. She told me that it was not just for
teachers, but that my book was a blueprint for how to be successful. I
promise you that it is a fast and a fun read. Any ideas or suggestions
would be welcomed. I need to get into colleges and universities, and would
appreciate any help from all of you. Thanks in advance for caring!
Best,
Dede
Rittman
Publishing, LLC
A note
about The Caring Bridge- it is a free site. Go to
www.caringbridge.org to set up your own site. This takes a lot of the stress off the caregiver, as updates can be written on a schedule or as needed. If you would like to visit
Scott's site. log in to www.caringbridge.org
In the site you want to visit, type
scottrittman as one word. You will be prompted to enter and email and to
create a password to use (they never send you any email). I posted many
pictures and updates, plus you can look at the Guestbook and see the many
messages that were left. My final entry in the site is the eulogy I wrote
and gave at Scott's funeral. I read it to him before he died, along with
his obituary, which I wrote on my IPad as he lay dying. The Caring
Bridge was a wonderful vehicle for us to use to keep everyone in the loop. If
one person benefits from knowing about this site from my blog, my writing/editing
time was worth more than gold.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Success in golf depends less on strength of body than upon strength of mind and character. Arnold Palmer
This past week, I had a great opportunity to be with golf legend Arnold Palmer. This was not our first meeting; indeed, we have spoken on many occasions through the years, mostly on a golf course, but not always. This week's blog is about Lessons the Bunny Teacher Learned from Arnold Palmer.
The WPIAL Boys' Individual Finals were held at Latrobe Country Club on October 2, and Mr. Arnold Palmer was to make a guest appearance before the tournament and provide a photo opportunity for all of the players and the WPIAL Golf Committee, of which I am a member. People over the age of 50 know about the contributions Arnold Palmer has made to the golf world; the young people know the Arnold Palmer drink in a can. What everyone was to find out is this: Arnold Palmer is a man who honors his commitments.
Mr. Palmer arrived, and he looked so sick. Turns out, he was not only sick, he stopped off at the course on the way to see his doctor. Why did he come to the course when he was ill? He told the players he would. Simple, honest, and true, his Western Pennsylvania values superseded his illness. Near the close of the competition, he even came back! (Looking and feeling better, I should add, after an adjustment to his new pacemaker, he told me.) He was his affable self, shaking hands and allowing photos with anyone who asked. When a playoff ensued, he drove out to watch the drama and congratulated the winner, remembering the times when he was the WPIAL Champion in both 1946 and 1947.
I had the chance to spend more than an hour with Arnold Palmer, my favorite golfer. I told him that when I was a little girl (and the Steelers were terrible), Daddy and I would sit in the same overstuffed chair (we were both painfully thin) and watch golf. Daddy would say "That Arnold Palmer is going to change golf. He makes it fun and exciting, and it won't be just a rich man's game anymore." (Daddy was right. Arnold Palmer did change the face of golf forever, and his legions of fans know that he is the man behind the exponential growth of the game all those years ago.) I shared this story with Arnie, and he looked at me with such seriousness and such humility, then looked down, almost embarrassed, and said "Thank you."
Arnold Palmer is one of the most successful businessmen who ever lived. His name sells everything from cars to drinks to memberships in the USGA. Yet, he is a very real person. We discussed many topics, from my late husband's death from cancer (I cried because of the empathy he showed me as he patted my hand, remembering the loss of his wife, Winnie) to the importance of coaches in young people's lives. We talked about his grandsons (I know both) and about pacemakers (Daddy had one.) We walked down memory lane as I shared that I walked outside the ropes with him on 18 at Oakmont in 1994, his last US Open, and that I cried every step of the hole. He humbly looked down and murmured a low "Thank you."
But this piece is about neither adoration nor adulation. Arnold Palmer is simply a man who never forgot his roots and his core values. He is successful because he worked hard his entire life, and he continues to work several days a week, even at age 85. His philanthropy is legendary, with medical centers and wings from the Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children in Orlando to the Arnold Palmer Pavilion at the UPMC in Pittsburgh to the Winnie Palmer Hospital for Women and Babies and the Arnold Palmer Prostate Center in California. He is the spokesperson for the USGA, and the "King" of the Golf Channel, as well as the designer of worldwide and world class golf courses. Yet, Arnold Palmer still lives in Latrobe, and continues to make his hometown better, through his support of the Latrobe Excela Hospital and the Winnie Palmer Nature Reserve near St. Vincent College in Latrobe, just to name a few.
I had a great day with Arnold Palmer. With all of his accomplishments, he was interested in me, as both a person and as a coach. He thanked me for my 33 years of service to the youth of North Allegheny as a coach. Very humbling, I will say, and a day I will never forget.
Arnold Palmer confirmed what I already knew about him as a person, and what I would like to share with you. It is important to remember your roots. Those are the people who liked you before you were famous. Giving back is the way to go. No need for fanfare, just do things quietly, and make the lives of others better, just because you can. Appreciate what you have. Humility is key. Remember who you are and where you came from. Be yourself. Don't let the adulation of millions of people change your persona. They like you for who you are, so why change? Don't let success go to your head. If you are good at something, share it with others. Arnold Palmer has taught countless others to play the game (including his grandsons.) Remember the lessons your father taught you, as they will serve you well for the rest of your life. Here is the link to a recent and short video in which Arnie remembers his childhood lessons:
The WPIAL Boys' Individual Finals were held at Latrobe Country Club on October 2, and Mr. Arnold Palmer was to make a guest appearance before the tournament and provide a photo opportunity for all of the players and the WPIAL Golf Committee, of which I am a member. People over the age of 50 know about the contributions Arnold Palmer has made to the golf world; the young people know the Arnold Palmer drink in a can. What everyone was to find out is this: Arnold Palmer is a man who honors his commitments.
Mr. Palmer arrived, and he looked so sick. Turns out, he was not only sick, he stopped off at the course on the way to see his doctor. Why did he come to the course when he was ill? He told the players he would. Simple, honest, and true, his Western Pennsylvania values superseded his illness. Near the close of the competition, he even came back! (Looking and feeling better, I should add, after an adjustment to his new pacemaker, he told me.) He was his affable self, shaking hands and allowing photos with anyone who asked. When a playoff ensued, he drove out to watch the drama and congratulated the winner, remembering the times when he was the WPIAL Champion in both 1946 and 1947.
I had the chance to spend more than an hour with Arnold Palmer, my favorite golfer. I told him that when I was a little girl (and the Steelers were terrible), Daddy and I would sit in the same overstuffed chair (we were both painfully thin) and watch golf. Daddy would say "That Arnold Palmer is going to change golf. He makes it fun and exciting, and it won't be just a rich man's game anymore." (Daddy was right. Arnold Palmer did change the face of golf forever, and his legions of fans know that he is the man behind the exponential growth of the game all those years ago.) I shared this story with Arnie, and he looked at me with such seriousness and such humility, then looked down, almost embarrassed, and said "Thank you."
Arnold Palmer is one of the most successful businessmen who ever lived. His name sells everything from cars to drinks to memberships in the USGA. Yet, he is a very real person. We discussed many topics, from my late husband's death from cancer (I cried because of the empathy he showed me as he patted my hand, remembering the loss of his wife, Winnie) to the importance of coaches in young people's lives. We talked about his grandsons (I know both) and about pacemakers (Daddy had one.) We walked down memory lane as I shared that I walked outside the ropes with him on 18 at Oakmont in 1994, his last US Open, and that I cried every step of the hole. He humbly looked down and murmured a low "Thank you."
But this piece is about neither adoration nor adulation. Arnold Palmer is simply a man who never forgot his roots and his core values. He is successful because he worked hard his entire life, and he continues to work several days a week, even at age 85. His philanthropy is legendary, with medical centers and wings from the Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children in Orlando to the Arnold Palmer Pavilion at the UPMC in Pittsburgh to the Winnie Palmer Hospital for Women and Babies and the Arnold Palmer Prostate Center in California. He is the spokesperson for the USGA, and the "King" of the Golf Channel, as well as the designer of worldwide and world class golf courses. Yet, Arnold Palmer still lives in Latrobe, and continues to make his hometown better, through his support of the Latrobe Excela Hospital and the Winnie Palmer Nature Reserve near St. Vincent College in Latrobe, just to name a few.
I had a great day with Arnold Palmer. With all of his accomplishments, he was interested in me, as both a person and as a coach. He thanked me for my 33 years of service to the youth of North Allegheny as a coach. Very humbling, I will say, and a day I will never forget.
Arnold Palmer confirmed what I already knew about him as a person, and what I would like to share with you. It is important to remember your roots. Those are the people who liked you before you were famous. Giving back is the way to go. No need for fanfare, just do things quietly, and make the lives of others better, just because you can. Appreciate what you have. Humility is key. Remember who you are and where you came from. Be yourself. Don't let the adulation of millions of people change your persona. They like you for who you are, so why change? Don't let success go to your head. If you are good at something, share it with others. Arnold Palmer has taught countless others to play the game (including his grandsons.) Remember the lessons your father taught you, as they will serve you well for the rest of your life. Here is the link to a recent and short video in which Arnie remembers his childhood lessons:
There will never be another Arnold Palmer. The word GOLF is synonymous with his name. His passion made the game exciting and fun and available to everyone on a world stage. His charity and compassion for others exceeds that of any other athlete, which is why he received the Congressional Gold Medal in 2012, one of only six athletes to receive this honor.
Thank you, Arnold Palmer, for being you, and for teaching all of us what success, grace, and humility really mean. You are a national treasure who just happens to be from Latrobe. And one more time, I will say what I have always said to you every time we have met through these many decades and years : "I still love you, Arnie." And your answer (with the twinkle in your eyes) is always the same: "I know, honey. you told me last time."
Rittman Publishing, LLC
Sunday, September 28, 2014
“[Kids] don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.” ― Jim Henson, It's Not Easy Being Green: And Other Things to Consider
I enjoy writing about education and learning and teaching. I like to share personal anecdotes with all of you, my readers, in the hopes that you will be able to glean a modicum of learning from my experiences. Sometimes teachers must deal with situations for which they have not been trained. My best advice is to do what is best for the students, and you will not be wrong.
Many years ago, I had a fun and lively English II class of 28 students that was one of my favorite classes. Sadly, 7 students in that same class lost a parent during the school year. Some passed from cancer, one was in an auto accident, one had huge health issues. Each time a death occurred, I bought a sympathy card for everyone in the class to sign. We discussed the importance of showing respect for the deceased while supporting the survivors. Because this happened so many times, class discussions about sympathy and empathy were frequent, teary-eyed, and sincere. Clearly, the 7 students who suffered losses were hurting, and their classmates were feeling their pain as well. The subject of handling parent deaths never came up in college (7 in the same class in a single school year!), so I followed my instinct to do what was best for both the individuals and the class as a whole. The students became very close, and my classroom became a safe place at school where students could grieve with no fear of judgment. I believe everyone in that class learned the true meaning of the word empathy.
I am working with a young man right now who lost his father a few months ago in a tragic accident. This young man knew my late husband and we have discussed my profound sadness about Scott's death on more than one occasion. A few days ago this young man shared with me that he had a really bad day. I nodded my head in understanding and then responded that sometimes bad days happen, and that it is all a part of the process. He looked at me and said "I appreciate you so much. I can just tell you things and you know just what I am feeling. I never have to try to explain." I said the words that I thought were right for him to hear, and they were the right words. .
In your teaching career, many crazy situations will occur, and you will have no idea how to react. Just remember to do what is best for the STUDENT and your judgment should be correct.
Rittman Publishing, LLC
My new website for STUDENT TEACHING: THE INSIDE SCOOP FROM A MASTER TEACHER is up and running. Check it out at www.dederittman.com
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Empathy is about standing in someone else's shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. Not only is empathy hard to outsource and automate, but it makes the world a better place. Daniel H. Pink
Because I clearly remember how time consuming it is to be a teacher, when I see something interesting or eye catching that deals with education, I like to write about it in this blog for my teacher friends. I was in Cleveland this weekend for the wedding of my nephew, and I saw a great story on Channel 19. I have included the link to the video at the end of this piece.
The story was geared to elementary students, especially on the playground. No, it is not a new type of slide or monkey bars, but it does create fun. The new addition is called a Buddy Bench. Just what is the purpose of the Buddy Bench? Essentially, it is a place for kids to sit when they need a friend, need a playmate, or need to talk. The Buddy Benches in the story are specific to grade levels on the playground, and the children seem to be very receptive to the idea. The child interviews in the story are quite candid (as child interviews tend to be- think of Art Linkletter or Bill Cosby), and I was impressed enough to write this blog about this terrific concept.
Although I never taught elementary school, I see great lessons to be learned from this Buddy Bench; lessons that I believe would continue through middle school and high school. When a student sits on the Bench, the student who joins him or her is really learning about empathy. To me, the scenario stirs this kind of a conversation in the minds of the other students: "Someone is alone on the bench, and he needs a friend right now. I think I will sit on the bench with him and find out why this person is alone." I believe the Bench also promotes better communication skills which makes for better inclusion in the culture of the school. It seems to me that learning these lessons about getting along with others and respecting the feeling of others early in life might make for fewer bullying incidents, which could make for fewer school shootings and stabbings. A stretch? I don't think so.
I urge you to take a look at this television segment. The children are so receptive to the idea of the Buddy Bench and the lessons they are learning. Maybe the Buddy Bench should be at all elementary school playgrounds. We learn about relationships from our childhood friends, and we carry what we learned well into our adulthood. By the way, I still have some of my childhood friends. Do you?
As always, I welcome your comments or suggestions.
Here is the link to the story:
Rittman Publishing, LLC
The story was geared to elementary students, especially on the playground. No, it is not a new type of slide or monkey bars, but it does create fun. The new addition is called a Buddy Bench. Just what is the purpose of the Buddy Bench? Essentially, it is a place for kids to sit when they need a friend, need a playmate, or need to talk. The Buddy Benches in the story are specific to grade levels on the playground, and the children seem to be very receptive to the idea. The child interviews in the story are quite candid (as child interviews tend to be- think of Art Linkletter or Bill Cosby), and I was impressed enough to write this blog about this terrific concept.
Although I never taught elementary school, I see great lessons to be learned from this Buddy Bench; lessons that I believe would continue through middle school and high school. When a student sits on the Bench, the student who joins him or her is really learning about empathy. To me, the scenario stirs this kind of a conversation in the minds of the other students: "Someone is alone on the bench, and he needs a friend right now. I think I will sit on the bench with him and find out why this person is alone." I believe the Bench also promotes better communication skills which makes for better inclusion in the culture of the school. It seems to me that learning these lessons about getting along with others and respecting the feeling of others early in life might make for fewer bullying incidents, which could make for fewer school shootings and stabbings. A stretch? I don't think so.
I urge you to take a look at this television segment. The children are so receptive to the idea of the Buddy Bench and the lessons they are learning. Maybe the Buddy Bench should be at all elementary school playgrounds. We learn about relationships from our childhood friends, and we carry what we learned well into our adulthood. By the way, I still have some of my childhood friends. Do you?
As always, I welcome your comments or suggestions.
Here is the link to the story:
http://www.19actionnews.com/video?clipId=10600388&autostart=true
My new book goes on sale September 27. here is my new website
www.dederittman.com
My new book goes on sale September 27. here is my new website
www.dederittman.com
Rittman Publishing, LLC
Sunday, September 14, 2014
“Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.” —Bob Kerrey
Educators, for so many reasons, are the guardians and curators of society. Children around the world learn acceptable behavior along with the meaning of the words "appropriate" and "not appropriate" in school. For those who have not been taught manners at home, the cafeteria and classroom both serve as learning labs. Teachers want to bring out the best in every child, which is why school classrooms are also headquarters for various charitable functions. Teaching knowledge by itself is not enough; we want to teach children caring, compassion, and kindness.
I was witness to an extraordinary moment this past week which I would like to share with you. This act was so pure and so unselfish that I have been thinking about it since I saw it.
I was with the NA golf team at a teaching event at a local driving range. Many golf professionals were assisting the 100 or so players from various school districts with their swings, driving, putting strokes, chip shots, and long iron shots. The camaraderie between the students was evident, and everyone was enjoying the lessons. At the conclusion of the teaching sections, three contests were held: long drive, chip shot, and putting. The NA players won the first two contests hands down, but the putting contest was what caught my attention.
The putting green was located above ground level, and to get to the green, a person would have to climb a set of rock steps. I saw a slightly built young man with some physical disabilities looking at the steps. I noticed that his knees were locked, and his hands were at right angles to his wrists. His coach had chosen him to represent their school in the putting contest, but first he had to get up the steps, which was obviously an impossibility for him. I saw another young man, also with a slight build, approach him. The two exchanged a few brief words, and then the second boy picked up the boy with locked knees and carried him up the steps! No fanfare, no fireworks, just simple kindness and compassion between two friends. The coach told me this is the norm for these two friends; when the young man with the physical disability needs help to get down or up a hill on the golf course, his friend picks him up and carries him. I am not embarrassed to tell you that I wept at this generosity of heart and brawn. Sometimes, a moment is just so perfect that you have to marvel at its perfection. Such was this moment.
The boy did not win the putting contest, although he gave a good run at it. His friend dutifully carried him back down the steps and the two looked so happy to be sharing that particular experience. They touched my heart forever.
As teachers and coaches, we hope to be able to teach kindness and caring, and we must always remember that we are the role models for young people. Children will become who we are. I believe that anyone who saw these two young men learned a wonderful lesson that day, and I hope they will take that lesson to heart, and pay the kindness forward.
As always, I welcome your ideas, comments, or suggestions. Have a great week, and be kind to someone. It feels great.
Rittman Publishing, LLC
I was witness to an extraordinary moment this past week which I would like to share with you. This act was so pure and so unselfish that I have been thinking about it since I saw it.
I was with the NA golf team at a teaching event at a local driving range. Many golf professionals were assisting the 100 or so players from various school districts with their swings, driving, putting strokes, chip shots, and long iron shots. The camaraderie between the students was evident, and everyone was enjoying the lessons. At the conclusion of the teaching sections, three contests were held: long drive, chip shot, and putting. The NA players won the first two contests hands down, but the putting contest was what caught my attention.
The putting green was located above ground level, and to get to the green, a person would have to climb a set of rock steps. I saw a slightly built young man with some physical disabilities looking at the steps. I noticed that his knees were locked, and his hands were at right angles to his wrists. His coach had chosen him to represent their school in the putting contest, but first he had to get up the steps, which was obviously an impossibility for him. I saw another young man, also with a slight build, approach him. The two exchanged a few brief words, and then the second boy picked up the boy with locked knees and carried him up the steps! No fanfare, no fireworks, just simple kindness and compassion between two friends. The coach told me this is the norm for these two friends; when the young man with the physical disability needs help to get down or up a hill on the golf course, his friend picks him up and carries him. I am not embarrassed to tell you that I wept at this generosity of heart and brawn. Sometimes, a moment is just so perfect that you have to marvel at its perfection. Such was this moment.
The boy did not win the putting contest, although he gave a good run at it. His friend dutifully carried him back down the steps and the two looked so happy to be sharing that particular experience. They touched my heart forever.
As teachers and coaches, we hope to be able to teach kindness and caring, and we must always remember that we are the role models for young people. Children will become who we are. I believe that anyone who saw these two young men learned a wonderful lesson that day, and I hope they will take that lesson to heart, and pay the kindness forward.
As always, I welcome your ideas, comments, or suggestions. Have a great week, and be kind to someone. It feels great.
Rittman Publishing, LLC
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