Although he is now 20 years old, I first met John at the Ingomar Middle School sports' meeting when he was in eighth grade. Varsity coaches have spring meetings at each of the three North Allegheny middle schools to recruit for Fall sports. John immediately stood out from the crowd. He spouted off the averages of each of the players from the past several seasons, discussed the yardages of each of the courses we played for section matches, and he seemed to know everything about my long golf coaching career at North Allegheny. You see, John is autistic, and his passion is golf. But that is only the beginning of this story.
As a classroom teacher, I was hand-picked by administrators to teach almost every special needs student who was mainstreamed at North Allegheny Intermediate High School, in both my English classes and my Introduction to Theater classes. I loved working with these students, their parents, counselors, and special needs teachers. Helping these students to achieve their best was a total team effort, and the personal and professional rewards I received every single day were very fulfilling. Nothing is as exciting as helping a student to learn social skills, life skills, and subject matter, and to see the student blossom with self-confidence and pride. Every year was exciting, but I only had one year with each of those students. I had four years to be John's golf coach and watch him grow.
Many
children who are autistic have specific likes and dislikes, and as I
mentioned before, John loves golf. On the first day of tryouts as an
incoming freshman, John knew some of the boys from the King's Tournaments, and
I observed that he was quite social when discussing golf. In the other
social areas, he was not comfortable. I approached his mom that day,
introduced myself, and said, "Tell me about John." She told me
that John's teachers had always been extremely supportive of him in every facet
of his life, and that this tryout was John's first foray into high school life
and what she hoped would become a life filled with friendships. (I must
interject at this point that I came to know that John's parents and sister are
the most supportive family I have ever seen. They walked every round he
ever played at North Allegheny and in his tournaments-except
for tryouts- no parents allowed on the golf course.)
John made
the Varsity team as a freshman after a sudden-victory playoff for that coveted
spot. He was the only freshman on the team, and he was thrilled! That
first year, and the three years thereafter, John blossomed. His love of
yardages and golf equipment and courses played and favorite golf holes were his
favorite topics. On the bus trips to away matches, John would review in
detail: hole by hole yardages from specific tees; hazards to avoid; the best
club selection for avoiding those hazards; risk/reward shots; and slope of the
greens. It was like I had an assistant coach who knew the configuration
and yardage of every hole the team had ever played or would ever play. John’s
contributions to the team and his playing ability, as well as his fun
personality, helped him to become a true team member, accepted and loved, and
he formed fast friendships which are still flourishing today. With gentle
guidance and caring, the four years of boys' golf teams helped John to
understand what it meant to be appropriate in many social situations. (This is
a problem for autistic people.) Their patience and caring for John echoed
mine as his coach. John was held to the same high expectations as the rest of the team; he was treated no differently because of his autism. This was very important to me as a coach and as a teacher; I wanted everyone on the team to recognize that it was the same for everyone. Each golf season, we were a little family of support
who nurtured John's growth, never realizing until much later that John was
helping all of us to grow into better people because he was a part of
our lives.
I wrote
earlier that I had the chance to watch John grow for four years on the team,
but our relationship is still continuing. I was fortunate to meet Hank
Haney, head of the IJGA, at the PGA Merchandise Show in Orlando in 2013.
I spoke with Hank about John, and wrote him a letter of recommendation
for John to be accepted into the IJGA (International Junior Golf Academy) at
Hilton Head. John just finished a fabulous year there, learning more
about the game he loves and having many opportunities to play in international
tournaments.
I am so
fortunate to continue to see John at the club where we both belong, Diamond
Run. John and his dad always play the black tees- the tips- and John is a
favorite at the club, even playing in the men's championship for several years,
despite his young age.
I had the
chance to really observe John's growth as a person and as a golfer, as John and
I were playing partners in the Myron Cope/Foge Fazio Memorial Tournament for
Autism in June. Although John had never played at Montour Heights, I sent him
the link to the scorecard and layout of the course. He memorized the
course and yardages at first glance (what a special gift) and John had our
foursome on every par 5 in just 2 shots. Although we shot 9 under
par because of John's extraordinary playing ability, we did
not win. John did win a prize and was recognized at the dinner for
being the only autistic player to ever play in the event, and for his 0
handicap. Although his mom joined us for dinner, this was the only round
I can remember that his mom did not walk the course. I took this as
another sign that John is growing up.
I was so
proud to be with John all of the years that I was his coach, but that pride was
nothing compared to what I felt about this young man as I watched him comport
himself in many new situations at Montour Heights. He met many new people
and he was completely comfortable, shaking hands and conversing with ease.
He took the lead in our foursome, making suggestions and telling us how
to hit the shots during this amazing scramble. John quickly made friends
with the other two men in our group (friends of mine), and Tom and Mike both
told me they thought John was awesome. That day, I played golf with a
man, a man I taught and coached and cared for as a boy, who has grown into
himself, with the love and support of a fabulous family and wonderful team
mates. I have always believed that nurturing support can transform a
person, and in this case, seeing the growth and transformation of this young
man was overwhelming. I spoke with his
mom at length about John’s new independence, and his family is also so proud of
him.
What's
next for John? I met with the golf coach at CCAC, and he wants John on
the team. So John is about to embark on another wonderful adventure.
I am sure that this adventure will lead to another, and although I cannot
predict what will come next, I do see a bright future for John, and of course,
that future includes golf, his true passion.
In my
upcoming book and in other blogs, I have mentioned the importance of teachers
working with students in extracurricular activities. Although teachers
usually only have that one year to see growth, I have been so fortunate to
witness John’s continuing evolution for years. Being a part of John's
life is one of the best things that ever happened to me as a teacher and a
coach. My hat is off to his family and all of his golf friends who surrounded
John with love and acceptance, allowing him to be himself and to mature. I
am SO proud of this young man! John
McCabe, you are awesome!
If you
would like to read more about John, this article appeared on the front
page of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette on 10/11/12: http://www.post-gazette.com/sports/hsother/2012/10/11/Golf-opens-up-the-world-to-North-Allegheny-teen-with-autism/stories/201210110402
When I sent this blog to John’s parents for their input,
I received this heartfelt reply from his mother, which I am using with her
permission.
Beautiful!
Thanks for making me cry!!
We just take
things day by day, but reading about how he has grown in the past 4-5 years
alone has made me realize that his growth didn’t “just happen”. There
were many special members of “Team JP” who have helped him along the way, and
he wouldn’t be where he is today without your help and the help of so many
others. I love that John was treated just like the
others. When he did something wrong he received the same punishment as
the others. This helped teach him life lessons and made him realize that
he had to follow the same rules as everyone else, no exceptions because of his
disability. Golf is about so much more than hitting a ball and getting
low scores. It has taught him basic things like waiting for your turn, keeping
quiet while others are hitting, counting ALL of your strokes (even when no one
sees!), and being honest with yourself and your playing partners. I love
the commercial for the First Tee program where the kid says “I learned so much
at the First Tee. I even learned how to play golf.” John has
learned so much about life from the game of golf and has made some incredible
friends. I don’t know where he would be now without high school golf.
That is when he really blossomed and people started to see him for the amazing
person he is.
He is an
awesome young man and we are so proud of him. I think this is a wonderful
article. I’m looking forward to the positive feedback you will receive! Lynda McCabe
Please leave me a comment or suggestion for future articles. Thanks for reading.
Rittman
Publishing, LLC
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