Have you thought about your friends lately? I think of my friends constantly, because they are a big part of my life; in fact, my friends are the reason I am happy today, even though my husband died and Life has thrown me a slew of curve balls. They were there for me when Scott was sick and dying, and they continue to love and support me. I can still hit one of those curve balls and get a home run because of my friends. Why? Because THEY think I can; therefore, I can!
I was very fortunate to teach in a school building with over 100 caring teachers as colleagues. Each was woven into the fabrics of the lives of the others, and with so much time spent together, we became our own family at school. We suffered together over the loss of students, spouses, babies, parents, and siblings. We rejoiced together over students, spouses, babies, parents and siblings, as well as personal adventures and awards. We held bake sales and pancake breakfasts, performed in talent shows, organized picnics and parties, exchanged clothes, coupons, and recipes. We were blessed.
Now, all of that great group of teachers has retired. We still get together for lunches and special events, but it is not the same as being with "the friends" every day of the school year. But, one thing does remain the same. If one of us needs something, everyone comes running.
I started a Go Fund Me campaign last week, because it is my dream to have a stuffed animal plush toy bunny to be sold in addition to my upcoming book, GRADY GETS GLASSES. Grady is a bunny who tells small children (in verse) about how much his glasses help him to see his whole world, explaining farsighted and nearsighted and even the care of glasses. Grady makes children feel special, because they wear glasses, just like he does! I think having a plush toy Grady would make every child feel even better about wearing glasses, so that is why I am trying to raise money. Trademarks and lawyers and toy manufacturers are all very expensive, and although I am frugal, there are no coupons to clip for this cause.
My teacher friends from school were right there to support me, as soon as the campaign kicked off, just as I knew they would be. I am blessed.
If you are a teacher reading this, I hope that you have created wonderful and lasting relationships with your colleagues. Spending so much time with friends at school certainly makes every school day better. Teacher friends who share the ups and downs of life, as well as funny and poignant events from the classroom, are happier at school. No research data needed for that statement, as I am living proof that it is true.
I would appreciate it if you would take a look at my Go Fund Me page, and you can see Grady the Rabbit, drawn by the talented Lauren Givens Wood, my former student, and Carnegie-Mellon School of Art graduate. Here is the link: gofundme.com/zvzhuk
As always, I welcome your comments and suggestions.
I think that most people in life are underappreciated, or at least they feel underappreciated. Think of all the times you have gone far above and beyond what was expected of you in your profession, and no one even acknowledged your efforts. Although you can offer yourself the intrinsic credit of a good job with a pat on your own back, sometimes it is just great to receive a thank you from someone else.
For those who are reading my blog for the first time, I retired from teaching in 2011 to care for my husband who was diagnosed with and dying from stage four colon cancer, and then I retired from coaching Varsity Boys' Golf in 2014, after 33 years as head coach. I have been "out of the loop" of receiving any kind of acknowledgements from students, since I have not been at school for several years. Then, last week, I received an unexpected and wonderful thank you letter from a parent of one of my former golfers! Nothing really lifts the soul quite like the knowledge that someone appreciates something that YOU have done for them. This letter was extraordinary.
The parent wrote a wonderful open letter with the title "Thank you to the rest of The Village". (Referring to the famous African Proverb: "It takes a village to raise a child." ) She talks about the swift passing of the years as her son was growing up, as well as the friends, relatives, teachers, and coaches who helped to shape her son's life, whether it was when he was a tiny child, elementary student, middle school student, or high school adolescent. The coup de grace of the text is this line that she wrote: "Thank you to all of you. Big or small, you made a difference in the life of my child, and I will be forever grateful."
I was overcome with tears as I read the letter, which also included at least 50 photos of her son through the years. Such a charming and caring way to say thank you to others, and to appreciate and acknowledge those individuals who helped to shape her son's life.
What a beautiful way to make someone's day. This touching, sincere, and heartfelt letter certainly made MY day.
The letter I received took a tremendous amount of effort, both to write and to showcase this young man's life in pictures. I recognize that, and, yes, I will be sending a "thank you" for this "thank you."
In everyday life, appreciation does not have to be so time consuming. A pat on the back, a firm handshake, a verbal "thank you", an unexpected treat like a coffee and a donut, a quick email, or even a post-it note thank you would all be appreciated. Somehow, a few words of praise motivate people to give their best. I learned that while teaching in the classroom for 37 years and coaching for 33 years.
Here is a great quote to follow in life: "Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don't keep it a secret." Mary Kay Ash
I APPRECIATE all of you who read my blog and support my efforts as a fledgling writer. Thank you so much for your time and encouragement.
As always, I welcome your comments and suggestions.
Everyone talks about wanting to be "happy", but no one knows the exact definition of personal happiness. Some people are happy in their work, but not at home. Others have great relationships with family and friends, but are unhappy at work. Some struggle with severe depression, sunk so low that they cannot even imagine being happy, and others who are bipolar know that mania and energy of the high will be followed by the crash landing into depression. The bad news is that we are all victims of our own brain chemistry; the good news is that pharmaceuticals have come a long way to help us with balancing our brain chemistry. I don't think anyone is really "normal", whatever that word means today.
I have spent many hours reading about, discussing, and thinking about "happiness", and I have come to one conclusion: each person must rely on himself, not others, to find happiness. On a personal note, when my husband Scott died, I thought I would never be happy again, but I know that he would want me to BE happy. So each day, when I awaken, I make a conscious decision that I am going to make the day a happy one. Of course, I still cry sometimes and feel sad, but I have come to realize that by "thinking happy", I am a happier person. I am also more appreciative than I have ever been. Although I had Scott for over 30 years, everything we were together was all gone in a moment. I have learned to appreciate all of the small things in life that can cause smiles: a sunny day, a dog's head out a car window, a small child's wave and smile, taking a cart back for an elderly person at the grocery store, telling a stranger she looks great, complimenting a new hairdo. All of these little things, crazy or not, touch my heart, and I am not afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve and share all of my feelings with you.
One of the reasons I am happier is because I am back to contributing to the well-being of others. I missed teaching and the positive interaction with students every day, so I wrote a book for new teachers. I am writing for several education online magazines, co-hosting a radio show for education (The Total Education Q and A) and sharing my viewpoints and experience with others. I am enjoying giving webinars about teaching, and helping others new to education. I love being able to help to steer a person's thinking toward the greater good for all children in schools everywhere.
Are YOU feeling down? May I make a suggestion? Get out of your house and do something for someone else. Love animals? Volunteer at your local animal shelter. Love clothes? Volunteer at a repurposing shop that helps men or women in crisis. Love people? Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Love kids? Volunteer at a playground summer program. The possibilities are endless! I promise that when you get busy doing something for others, you will feel much happier within yourself. And what could be better than that?
Remember that each person is responsible for his own happiness, and it is so great to make yourself happy through service to others.
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The 4th of July reminds all Americans about the importance of liberty as we celebrate the Declaration of Independence. It is truly an all-American holiday, from picnics with hot dogs and apple pie to the small town and big city parades to the evening fireworks in almost every town.
And the American flag is the symbol of all of the freedoms enjoyed by Americans. .
I have been thinking back to 9/11/2001. When the terrorists hit the United States, Old Glory flew on every porch and every yard. Americans were proud to be Americans, and people were kinder to each other and friends and neighbors and relatives clung to each other in a way that only a disaster can make happen. Today is the 4th of July, and as I type this blog, I am thinking about the lack of flags I have noticed driving around Pittsburgh, PA. The occasional flag is displayed, but nothing like the heart-stirring exhibitions we saw in 2001. Have Americans forgotten the importance of the flag, our nation's symbol? I certainly hope not. Are schools still teaching the importance of the flag? I certainly hope so.
When I was teaching English all of those 37 years, we recited the pledge of allegiance in homeroom every morning. On more than one occasion, I asked the students to write down the words of the first few lines of the pledge of allegiance. Some funny answers included:
"I bledge the pigeons to the flag" (what does it mean to "bledge", and where did the pigeons come from?), and other was "I pledge my legions to the flag". When I asked this young man how many legions he had and where he kept them, he said he did not know what a legion was, but that was the word he was supposed to say. I reviewed the real words to the pledge of allegiance with my classes, including defining the word "allegiance." The flag lesson was always a good one, since one should know to whom and to what one is pledging one's allegiance!
As teachers and adults, we must make the flag a more understandable object for young people, and we can do that by explaining the importance of the 4th of July, as well as by proudly displaying the flag and discussing its virtues. With the imminent threat of groups like ISIS in the wings, as well as the hatred of so many other world groups toward the American culture, it is important for all Americans to remember the roots of liberty and the importance of our flag.
Have a happy and safe 4th of July holiday weekend! Hope your flag is flying in honor of liberty and freedom.
For more about the 4th of July:
http://www.constitutionfacts.com/us-declaration-of-independence/fourth-of-july/
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Dede's book STUDENT TEACHING: THE INSIDE SCOOP FROM A MASTER TEACHER is avaialble at www.dederittman.com
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